


Never Have I Ever...

by viviegirl05



Series: Drinking Games [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Confessions, Crack, Drinking, Drinking Games, Gen, Ignores Civil War, Never Have I Ever, Peter is over 21, apparently Peter is a slut, because I said so, shocking confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 06:50:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17976446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viviegirl05/pseuds/viviegirl05
Summary: The Avengers get together to play "never have I ever" and some people seem to be determined to shock everyone, and some just want to pick on Tony for his partying past...





	Never Have I Ever...

The Avengers were gathered in the common room, ready with bottles of booze for the drinking game of the century. They were ready to get WASTED, with Vision on hand to make sure no one got alcohol poisoning. Steve and Bucky were able to fully participate thanks to Thor’s gift of several casks of Asgardian mead- though he was in New Asgard at present.

“Alright,” Tony said, because of course he would take charge of anything alcohol related, “everyone have a drink? Good. Why don’t we start with the youngest and move clockwise in a circle? Pete, that means you’re up! We’re playing never have I ever!”

“Ok, never have I ever dined and dashed,” Peter decided to start out with a relatively tame non-confession.

“Oh that’s bor- seriously Cap?!” Sam cried when Steve took a drink, followed by Bucky, Wanda, Natasha, and Clint.

“I was dirt poor in the great depression. Sometimes the only way were could eat was to dine and dash,” Steve shrugged.

“And the rest of you?” Sam arched an eyebrow, surveying the perpetrators.

“Same as Steve- dirt poor in the 30s,” was all Bucky said.

“Its call being undercover. Sometimes you have to do illegal things,” Natasha said demurely.

“I ran away from the foster care system and lived on the streets for a while before joining the circus. Gotta do what you gotta do to survive,” Clint ducked his head, examining his drink to avoid eye contact.

“Pietro and I needed food before we joined Hydra. We had to steal,” Wanda shrugged, seemingly uncaring. “They were with the mob anyway, they could afford a little lost food.”

“I admire your choice in which establishment to stiff,” Tony pointed at Wanda. “Moving on! Sam, you’re up!”

“Never have I ever...done butt stuff in the bedroom. Or out of the bedroom. I’m not judging your choice in venue.”

Tony, Rhodey, Steve, Bucky, Clint, Natasha, and Peter all drank.

“Seriously? Y’all nasty,” Sam shook his head.

“It’s called being gay, you hetero shoelace,” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Or bi,” Tony added.

“Bi-curious,” Peter shrugged, giving Tony a high five when he raised his hand.

“My turn. Never have I ever filmed myself or had someone else film me having sex,” Rhodey said looking directly at Tony.

“Oh fuck you honey bear, that was a targeted attack!”

“Quit whining and drink up you perv,” was all Rhodey said in answer.

“Get ready for my revenge- because it’s coming,” Tony muttered in his drink.

“Never have I ever…” Bucky started, “...stolen a friends clothes and lied about it so I could keep it.”

Steve, Tony, and Peter drank.

“Seriously Tony? And Peter, whose clothes did you steal?” Bucky asked.

“Rhodey’s clothes were so much comfier than mine! And it was nice being at MIT as a 15-year-old and constantly being reminded by my clothing that there was someone who cared about me!” Tony defended.

“I steal Ned and Tony’s clothes. Mostly because I’m messy and spill,” Peter mused. “Or I rip my clothes.”

“Of course Spider-Man is a klutz,” Sam rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

“My turn! Never have I ever repurposed a common household item into a sex toy, then needed medical assistance because I had a foreign object stuck inside me,” Tony cried.

Rhodey scowled but drank nonetheless.

“Seriously? Dude…” Peter sounded somewhat awed.

“That’s messed up man.” Sam shook his head.

“So...what was the object?” Bucky smirked.

“Nope, not telling. Move along,” Rhodey continued to scowl, glaring murderously at Tony.

“Ok, so, never have I ever...performed a strip tease,” Steve said, moving the game forward.

Tony, Natasha, and Bucky drank.

“Yeah, no real surprise there,” Clint sounded almost disappointed.

“Never have I ever...gone commando,” Natasha disclosed.

Steve, Bucky, Tony, Peter, and Clint all drank.

“Peter?!” Tony sounded scandalized.

Peter shrugged, “it bunches weird in the suit. It’s more comfortable without anyway.”

“In MY suit!? That I made with my own two hands?!”

“You’re going commando when you help little old ladies cross the street?” Sam asked. Peter just shrugged again.

“And capsicle?!”

“Army issue underwear doesn’t really hold up to battle conditions. We didn’t have much of a choice,” was all Steve said.

“Tony, stop being judgemental. People are allowed to go without underwear if they want,” Rhodey scolded mildly.

“Never have I ever…” Wanda smiled evilly as she side-eyed Tony, “done a line of cocaine off a woman I didn’t knows ass.”

“Oh FUCK YOU MAXIMOFF!” Tony shrieked while the others howled with laughter; even Vision smiled reservedly.

When they managed to get control of themselves- after about five minutes of uncontrollable laughter, Clint wiped away his tears and said, “ok, ok, my turn...never have I ever googled ‘sex addiction!’”

“OH COME ON!” Tony cried in protest, once again the only one to drink.

After another round of raucous laughter, Peter pulled himself together enough to keep the game going. “Never have I ever gotten drunk before 11am."

Tony, Rhodey, Clint, and Natasha all drank.

“Come on, that one was obvious,” Clint complained.

“Ok, never have I ever made a list of all the people I slept with and been shocked by how high the number was,” Sam grinned.

Tony, Peter, Natasha, Clint, and Bucky all drank.

“PETER?!” They all seemed to collectively cry.

“What the hell Pete?! Clint, Natasha, and Bucky I get, they were assassins and seduction is normal in that field, and everyone knows I’m a giant man-whore, but _you?_ ”

“The spider bite enhanced everything- strength, metabolism, healing, _sex drive.”_

“Oh my god I can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” Tony looked amazed at the gap in his thinking.

“Moving on from THAT awkwardness; never have I ever had sex with a woman who was on her period," said Rhodey.

No one drank.

“Weak sauce, man. Weak sauce,” Sam jeered playfully.

“Ok, never have I ever cried to get out of trouble,” Bucky declared.

Peter and Natasha were the only ones to drink.

“Yeah like that was surprising,” Wanda rolled her eyes.

“Never have I ever kept and used screenshots as blackmail,” Tony said eyeing Natasha.

Natasha drank, and surprisingly Steve.

“Stevie?” Bucky looked shocked.

“It was not a mutual flirtation, and all I’ll say is that it was a government official.”

“Well color me surprised,” said Tony. “And yet, somehow not surprised. All the hero worship around Captain America, _someone_ was bound to try to tap that whether you showed interest or not.”

“Yeah, well...never have I ever had to ask someone if we had sex because I couldn’t remember.” Steve sheepishly said, moving the game along.

Clint, Tony, Peter, and Bucky all drank.

“Yeah...let’s just move on from Peter’s apparent sluttiness…” Tony motioned to Natasha.

“Alright, never have I ever woken up still drunk and gone about my day like normal anyway.” Natasha said.

Tony and Clint were the only ones to drink.

“Respect,” they said in unison, toasting each other.

“Never have I ever woken up with no idea where I was,” Wanda mused.

Peter, Tony, Clint, and Rhodey all drank.

“Never have I ever gone to a sex club,” Clint said blandly.

Peter, Tony, Bucky, and Natasha all drank. Everyone stared at Peter for a solid five seconds.

“I believe it would be best if we stopped the game now as it seems to be somewhat awkward. Am I correct in that deduction?” Vision asked.

“Yeah, I’m with Vision. I never needed to know this much about my protege’s sex life. Seriously.” Tony said.

Murmurs of agreement were heard throughout the group as they stood and meandered tipsily to their rooms to sober up. They all knew it wouldn’t be the last drinking game they all played together, it was only a matter of when.


End file.
